Into the New
by IronSpark
Summary: After waking up in a new world, can Tristan be accepted and perhaps find love in a group of mares? Another Story by Tristan Glenn. Human in Equestria.
1. Chapter 1

A very smart man once said "Shit happens." And I completely agree with him…now that I'm trapped in a freaking alternate universe filled to the brim with talking ponies.

[End of Prologue]

When I wake up I automatically feel a sharp pain in my ribs.

"Oh shit, that hurts." I said aloud between some violent coughs. "Where the hell am I?" I ask myself while picking myself up off the ground.

"Some sort of forest? How cliché, now which way is out?" I start hobbling onto a trail in great pain. I start coughing again.

"Damn, if I don't get…" I suddenly got lightheaded and the world spun. "I need to find someone or I'm done for." I keep hobbling along. I come to a row of bushes and push my way through into a clearing.

"Hello?" I call out loudly. "Anybody here?" I try to block out the blinding sun with my hand.

"Huh? Anypony there? Ah don't take too kindly to trespassin' ponies." Says a female voice with a distinct southern accent, kind of like mine.

Wait, did she just say 'anypony'? That's a little weird.

"Hello, is someone." I start to say before my knees buckle and I fall straight on my face, I lose vision and just black out.

I don't know how much later it was that I woke up but when I did, I managed to choke out a groan before my voice went out.

'Just fucking fantastic' I think to myself.

"Uh, Twi, ah think he's 'wake" the southern voice says. I manage to find my voice after a few violent coughs.

"Any ya'll got some water?" I say trying to sit up but am not able to due to the pain in my chest.

"Whoa there, settle down fella, I'll get ya some water." Says the southern voice again.

When she comes back, I notice for the first time that the voice belongs to a small orange horse.

"Holy hell…what kind of black-magic fuckery is this?" I say sliding off the table and standing to my full height of 6'2".

"Settle down or I'll get Twi' to do it for ya." She threatens while setting the water down on the now cleared table. Just then I see a purple unicorn walk through the doorway.

"Like hell two little horses can do anything to me." I say trying to show any pain.

"We're not horses, we are ponies, thank you very much." Says Captain Smartass unicorn.

"Well whatever the hell you are, stay the fuck away from me" I say backing into a corner.

"Don't ya worry, we aint goin' ta hurt ya." Says the orange hic pony, (I might be southern but she sounds like a hillbilly).

"I know that, but I might hurt you two, that's what I'm worried about." I tell them while I settle against the wall.

"Here, just take this." The purple unicorn says while levitating the glass towards me.

'Okay, where the fuck am I?' I ask myself while taking a swig of water, it tastes funny. "What the heck is wrong with this water?" I ask spitting out some of the liquid.

"Nothing!" She shot back. "I mean, it might just be the taste of the pump." She added.

Alright, that's a little weird. "Okay…" I quickly drink the rest of the water, trying to avoid the taste. Just then I hear a snap and my entire chest lights up in pain. Then my leg does the same.

"Oh God!" I yell while grabbing my chest, trying to hold myself together. A range of snaps emanate from my body, overloading my senses. Before I can make another sound another snap hits and I feel like I've been shell shocked. I can't hear anything and my vision is blurred. Everything began to fade out and I dropped.

My hearing was the first thing to come back.

"Oh my…is he…alright?" I heard a posh voice ask.

"He'll be fine, he just had all his injuries healed, even some from a long time ago." I heard the purple pony say.

"Was it painful? If you don't mind me asking." I hear another voice ask.

"Yes, unfortunately that's the down side, most of his injuries never did heal right, so the sell rebroke them and fixed them." The purple pony said again. I try to move but I can't.

"Pffff…he's still too big to do what I can do" says a tomboyish voice. I try to move again and find that everything seems to be in order. I decide now's a good time to get up.

"You'll be surprised." I say while picking myself up, a series of loud pops come from my joints as I shake out the stiffness. "I can do a lot of things."

I'm greeted by a collective gasp.

"What?" I ask them.

"You're…you're awake? You shouldn't be up for hours!" The purple unicorn exclaims.

"So? Now I want some answers as to why the hell I'm here." I stand up to my full height.

"Whoa, you might wanna sit back down bub." Says a cyan colored pony with wings and a rainbow mane.

"Or what? I'm free to do what I want." I tell her.

"Um, not really" She snaps back. "If you don't mind us saying." Purple pony interjects.

"I don't mind at all, but do you mind me saying that I can do whatever the fuck I like? Legally of course.." I say starting to get annoyed at these ponies, thinking that they own me.

"Sorry, but can you please sit down? I would like to ask you a few questions." The purple pony asked. I nodded and sat down against the low table. It seems that at least one pony wasn't being so controlling.

What seemed like an hour of random questions later I decided I was wrong, I wanted to drive Twilight; she mentioned her name, through a wall. She came back to some questions that seemed like should've been asked first.

"…so finally, what's you name, height, weight, and age?" She asked while scribbling with her quill.

"My name is Tristan Royce Glenn, I'm round six feet and two inches tall, 210 pounds, and twenty-three years old." I say, I quickly pat down my pockets, hoping I had a can on me. I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out a tin and read across the top. Copenhagen Southern Blend, Long Cut. 'Aww hell yes' I thought to myself giving it a quick pack and peeling back the top.

"Ummm, Tristan, what is that?" Twilight asks.

"This right here is the only thing that will keep me sane, it's called dip, or long cut tobacco to be more exact." I say picking out a small chunk and putting it in my mouth.

"Hey Twi, isn't tobacco illegal?" Asks the Rainbow Dash.

"Why yes it is, such a nasty plant." Rarity added.

"Yes, like Rarity said, Tristan do you mind handing that over?" Twilight asked. I looked at her like she just tried to steal all my money.

"Hell no, this stays with me." I tell her putting the tin in my pocket.

"I'm sorry Tristan but please give it to me, or I will have to…" I cut her off by holding up my finger telling her to wait. I lean over a trashcan and spit a nice wad out, holding the tobacco in.

"Like I said, no fucking way. It's mine." I tell her.

"Well you have forced my hoof. Spike! Contact Celestia and tell her to send the Royal Guards immediately!" She yells across the room

So be it…


	2. Chapter 2

"Was that really needed?" I ask standing up to straighten my shirt, they all back up a bit and a few of them go into a defensive stance.

"Whoa, I aint goin' to do anything now Twilight, can we be a bit more civil?" I ask holding my hands up. I take a seat at the table.

"Um, I guess we can talk this out…what do you think girls?" She asks the other ponies.

"Ah, fer one, don't think there is any harm in him speaking his case, until the guards get here at least." says the orange mare.

Now we're getting somewhere, I hate being in a conflict that could be easily avoided, but taking my dip, now that's not gonna happen.

"I guess, we could give the brute a second to talk…" Says the white unicorn, Rarity. I freaking hate people, err ponies that judge me.

"Sure, maybe afterword we can have a party!" Screams the pink pony, I can't say much against her, she reminds me of an old friend of mine.

"Sure, whatever. But if he does anything, then it's going to be messy." Says the rainbow colored mare. Lovely.

Now the reason that I'm not giving up my dip is because I bought it, so it belongs to me. Now if it is killing you by being in the room with it, then and only then I will get rid of it." I say sitting uncomfortably on the table.

"Okay, I understand that much. But why are you doing such a nasty thing?" Asks twilight.

"I'm not smoking it, I'm just sucking the flavor out of it. I hate smoking, hell I'm not a big fan of dip either but it's good enough to keep me sane. Like it helps to calm my nerves." I tell them

"What do you mean by flavor? Not that it's interesting or anything." Says the cyan pony.

"Well the only way to really get a sense of it is to try it… I mean if you're not a chicken?" I ask seeing if she would.

"I, Rainbow Dash, am not a chicken!" she yelled

"Okay then, get closer." I tell her while I pull out the tin and pack it.

"Okay, so what do you do to get the flavor out of it?" Asks Rainbow, with a bit of nervousness.

"Ya just put it in between your lips then suck out the flavor, but just don't swallow it." I tell her while peeling back the lid.

"Why not?" She asks.

"Trust me, just don't" I tell her as I take a pinch out and start holding it out to her. "Okay now, here-"

I was cut off by the door slamming open and about a dozen ponies of various colors clad in golden armor rushed into the room. Behind them a large white pony with a rainbow flowing mane, a long horn, and large wings.

"Twilight, is this the creature that you wrote to me about?" The large pony asks. I put the dip back into the can and tuck it away.

"I'm not a creature, more like a sentient being I guess." I say standing up.

"Very well," She says "What are you?"

"My name is Tristan Royce Glenn, I'm a human, now who are you?" I ask holding my hand out, waiting for her to introduce herself.

"Step back!" barks a white unicorn.

"Stand down Shining Armor. My name is Princess Celestia, pleased to meet you Tristan." She says to me, shaking my hand with her hoof.

"Thank God, I thought I was about to get ganked by ya'll." I say sitting back down.

"Yes, that would be unpleasant. Now back to the matter at hand, that container you just put away has a highly addictive substance that is illegal to possess. Now I'm not going to take it from you, but I am going to ask you to not use it in public, or let any of my subjects use it." She commands.

"Sure, I guess that's why they call me bad company." I say with a chuckle and spit out into the nearby trashcan.

"Also, can you please by a little more clean when you spit?" She asks.

"Sure, can you give me a bottle or something?" I ask back. She levitates a glass cup over to me. "Uh, how the hell are you doing that?" I grab the cup out of the air.

"Magic." She says "Do you not have magic where you are from?"

"I honestly can say that on my world, that magic, is fake. Just all smoke and mirrors." I stand and straighten my royal blue shirt.

"Really? So this is your first encounter with magic?" Celestia asks.

"Yep, now I want to ask some questions. Where the hell am I? And what the hell did she give me?" I ask pointing at Twilight.

"What do you mean?" Celestia asks me.

"She gave me some water, that after I drank, caused me a lot of pain, and made me black out." I tell her.

Celestia thought for a moment and asks Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, did you use that healing spell that Luna told you not specifically not to use?" She glares.

"Um, yes. But it worked, it healed all his injuries, even old ones that didn't heal correctly." She says to defend herself.

"That is not the point Twilight, Luna told you that the spell has unforeseen problems with it. Extreme discomfort, memory loss, spastic movements, and heart failure." She lectures.

"What!? What the hell do you mean? Do you mean that I could die? Goddamnit Twilight!" I start to yell at the now shaking unicorn. Everyone just started to look at me liked I just killed someone.

"What are ya'll starin' at?" I say, still boiling with rage. They all kept staring.

The yellow pegasus spoke up "Um, mister, do you think , that uh, maybe, she didn't mean to." She mutters softly. I'm taken back a bit by just how bad I must look.

"I'm sorry ya'll, but I gotta go. I…I just can't be here right now." I say while making my way to the door.

"Sit back down Tristan, you still have a great deal of questions to answer." One of the guards barks.

"Fuck that, I'll answer one more question" I say leaning against the table.

"Hey mister human! Do you like parties? Because I looooooove parties!" cheers the pink pony.

"Uh, yea…" I say. She lets out a large cheer and disappears in a flash. "Okay, I'm going to pretend I understood what just happened."

"Okay then bub," The rainbow pony steps up. "are you a spy?"

I let out a chuckle. "No, the heavy is a Spy"


End file.
